Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I used to feel that writing offers catharsis. In fact, I used to love writing, words and literature. How words on paper and how words sound sung through my earphones could evoke feelings and even just how they look and sound put together. I still do, just not as actively. I just feel like I have a lot to say tonight, it's all spilling out, my head feels full of thoughts. I'm not feeling much, just feel like sitting here and typing the stuff floating inside my brain down, a feeling that I haven't had in ages.
It's amazing how disappointed and weird I felt today just cuz of a figment of my imagination. Have you ever imagined that something would happen, when there was no stimulus for this thing to happen, and nor was there any reason or evidence or any sign at all that it would happen? Then this little idea that you imagined lodges itself into your brain and you feel that it gets more and more real as time passes. But of course, since it is not reality, it does not become reality, and you wonder why you feel disappointed that it didn't happen. Ah.... the power of imagination, I think.
When more then a year has passed, it is strange to think that when I logged into blogspot in the past there was another blog where I could go to if I liked, to which only we had access. Now, not only is our friendship an element of the past, but this blog has been deleted as well. In retrospect, I can see how God has made right our paths. But when I am angry or sad, I am reminded of the comfort that I used to find in you and of the support that I could rely on. I've been feeling like when there's one area of your life that is not happy, having an additional source of strength makes it easier to accept the unhappy part. I suppose it's something like collateral circulation in the arteries.....
Today was CA2, and after the paper we caught twilight which in my opinion is an awesome movie (: The CA was not awesome though hehe.
I'd like to go back to this prayer room with blue and green lighting where we camped at and found peace in secondary 2, a very long time ago... when we didn't know where we were headed in life and when we hadn't experienced a bit more. It was beautiful, I remember, dark enough yet with pretty lights. It was Confirmation camp then, and I really felt like I could do anything that God asked.
The hols are finally, finally here (a meagre 3 weeks) but still. Can't wait to shop and eat and watch movie and eat and play and shop and eat oh and exercise (: